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Easy way out

Yesterday (February 22), i took the easy way out.

It's been almost a week since I gave birth to Jakob Caleb (separate post on my birthing story and the name).  I have been trying to breastfeed him since day 1 and I can say I was somehow successful on the first 4 days.  But came the 5th day...and i was literally crying and screaming every time I nurse him. Everything just seemed so wrong.  He was very fussy, probably because he can't get that much milk yet from me and I was scared of feeding him because i know how painful it's going to be.  We were awake from 1:40 AM until 7:00 AM just because he can't seem to be satisfied with my milk.

Jake decided on Saturday morning to buy him the recommended formula given by the pedia.  And we fed him the bottle, and he fell soundly asleep for about 3 hours.

I know i could have tried harder...but the bottomline is i don't think i can do it.  I have always admired mothers who breastfeed their babies without any problems and I'm pretty sure they also experienced the same thing i did.  But i was just not ready and determined to do it,

Am i proud of my decision? No.  Does that make me less of a mother? I don't think so.  But one thing's for sure, I'm starting to relax and enjoy the first few weeks of his life and also adjusting and recovering from my operation.

At the end of the day, mothers will not be measured based on the milk they feed their babies but rather on how they will raise them.

And so to you breastfeeding moms, i salute and admire you.  I honoestly wish i could have done the same.

To you formula/bottle feeding moms, do not fret and think that what you are doing is wrong.  All moms just want the best for their kids.  And to be able to give them the best, we have to be and feel our best...always.
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